Thursday, August 19, 2010
20:58:00
I am everything you could ever want, but it will never be;
Unless you are willing to change that much, but I could never do that to thee.
Well, that's that then. I'm moving on. I just hope I don't have to make such hard decisions again if I do meet another one who moves me in such a way.
It's uncanny, really. Two in a freakin' row. I don't know what to think.
But I'm moving on. All I'll think of now is my exercise, my studies and my leisure time.
It's hard to move on. I mood-swung for something like 3 or 4 whole days, and I really do mean whole days, since I don't have school to busy me now that I'm in the holidays. To all who've helped me in one or another, thanks. This isn't going to work out though.
So I now continue on this journey of self-discovery we call life. That's how I see things anyway; life is one long journey, the destination being self-realization and enlightenment as to where one stands in his or her life. Some people's journeys are longer than others, some people's destinations are fancier than others, but it all boils down to the same thing in the end.
I'm only 19, but I feel I've logged a high mileage already. Still lots more ahead of me, and to be frank I don't know what to expect. In some ways I'm weary already, for I feel that I've traveled more than a 19 year old should have. Faced many more obstacles than the average 19 year old. But although I am tired and can be a little bitter about the fact, it's also a fact that all this just means that I know myself better, earlier, than others. I like that.
It's a personal satisfaction kind of thing. This kind of experience doesn't really have a physical manifestation, though maybe I do give off a more weary, well-traveled air than most of my peers. That said, it's probably only possible to see that by talking to me and/or getting to know me.
2 more years? Hopefully it won't take that long for the next girl to walk into my life, and hopefully the only thing I'll need to worry about then is how to woo her and nothing else.
So goodbye yellow brick roadWhere the dogs of society howlYou can't plant me in your penthouseI'm going back to my ploughBack to the howling old owl in the woodsHunting the horny back toadOh I've finally decided my future liesBeyond the yellow brick road