Wednesday, November 26, 2008
22:10:00
There are only two things in this world which are able to get me down and keep me there. And, while it might just be my own mind going into overdrive, both happened today.One of them has been going on for the past week+ already. I don't know if there really is something going on, or if it's just over-thinking on my part. Just that, there seems to have been a change since that particular so-called incident. I say 'so-called' because it's not much of anything, but because of the changes, it feels like a landmark event of sorts. This is one problem that ebbs and flows; sometimes there's nothing, sometimes it stings like hellfire. I really don't know what to make of it all.The other one... has been a problem I've had all my life. The only real solution is to face it head-on, but at the same time, doing so would set into motion a 'double or nothing' scenario. If it goes 'double', then brilliant. But if it hits 'nothing', it's going to hurt like nothing else on Earth can. Choosing to twiddle your thumbs doing nothing in the middle-ground just means the pain comes in small yet potent doses, bit by bit, until you finally have enough and go for the head-on solution. Only after then will all the dust settle, but whether you are left standing as victor or on the ground, a crumpled heap, no one will know till you try.It's bad enough having these problems in normal times, but it's particularly, for the lack of a better word, irritating to have them occuring so close to exam time. I need all the rationality and sanity I can get right now. It's not helping at all that these irrational problems are bleeding me dry of those essentials.Sigh.