Tuesday, October 07, 2008
17:35:00
What a difference a week makes.For some reason (I really don't know why), I've been looking back at a few of my more 'angry' posts (including that last one) and wonder how I managed to work myself up to such a fit to write such stuff.Some things really do irk me, and make me wonder how fellow human beings are able to think in such ways. Some things (which may not have been mentioned in my posts) have left me questioning humanity as a whole.Maybe I've let myself be consumed by my dissatisfaction with some things in my secondary school life. Things I deem important that didn't reap the full rewards (or none at all, sometimes). So caught up in trying to make up for these 'mistakes' that I've forgotten myself.I don't even know what I really am anymore. I look at myself and see both sides of the coin, no matter what coin we're talking about. I see both powerful strengths and crippling weaknesses. I see open-mindedness and narrow-mindedness. I am so right, but I am so wrong as well.Maybe I hate the fact that life is full of such shades of grey. Why can't more things be plain black or white, you know? I don't know anymore.Whoever you are, Juliet (in my tagboard), I suppose you could say that I'm doing nothing to help out the situation. On the other hand though, what would you expect a student to do? I hope you don't see this as a 'counter-attack' or anything like that; I wouldn't like to engage in a virtual flame war with someone I may or may not even know. Singapore is a great place, don't get me wrong, but I just feel that some things are just headed in the wrong direction at the moment. As I said in my 'disclaimer' in the last post, whether or not I'm right or wrong in my predictions, only time has the answer. I could be as wrong as saying '1+1=3'. Maybe I'm just so angry because such things are happening in my country of birth.I've been so angry recently. Now that I think about it, I question myself over why I've been as such. While it may not look/sound like it, I do have some friends who've been around for a long time now. I may not have a large number of friends, but those whom I see as real friends, are the kind that will never drop the baton, in regards to their friendship with me. I'm thankful for them, I truly am.I look at my angry posts and another thing that disgusts me is the abuse of the English language. Having the ability to write should not result in using it in purely hurtful ways. I need to go look at myself in the mirror and do some soul-searching.It seems like I've been being angry for the sake of being angry, at least in recent times. I need to think myself through. This ain't right.