Tuesday, October 07, 2008
22:45:00
Two posts in a day, I've never done this before.Well I couldn't get the module I wanted for my GEMs (General Elective Module) and that coupled with self-realizations in recent times has led to my bad mood today. On the GEMs front I have had to settle for a class which none of my friends are taking. That's the shitty part of it all, but the module in itself isn't bad so... it's not ALL bad.On the self-realization front? I can't say for sure that I've finished my 'reflections' just yet, but looking at things from a more general point of view, fairness is definitely in order and I have no right to complain. In case you guys don't know what exactly I'm talking about, I was feeling really crappy after not being able to get the GEM I wanted. I don't usually get down, but I was like that for about half the day.I went home myself from work today, to allow myself some time to think things through about myself and the things that were happening to me. Sometimes you just need to be able to walk a substantial distance with no company but your iPod. It helps alot especially when you're doing some soul-searching.Anyway I've come to terms with the GEM thing by realizing that it's actually, well, fair. I've had alot go my way in recent times, and a comparatively small setback like this shouldn't get me moping. That would just be stupid.On the 'angry' front, I've decided that, while I'm not to be blamed for having my own opinions and feeling strongly about them, I have no right to go all crazy slamming everything in this blog of mine. I've definitely been being angry for the sake of being angry in recent times. Why have I been like this? I think it's me getting way too big-headed for my own good.In the last few weeks I've been nothing but right (dealing with some home matters), and, coupled with my opinions on things, just led to me getting too big for my boots. I can't believe I allowed myself to become like that, when I've always tried to be keep my own ego in check as much as possible. Disappointing, this sort of thing really shouldn't be happening.Dissatisfaction over sec school experiences? I've decided I can't keep living my life letting such things drag me down. I'm letting go of all the bad stuff, for real this time. Mistakes I have made, will remain as such. I learn from them, and move on.I'm someone who tends to hold onto memories of days gone by. I need to start thinking ahead now. I've been clutching those old straws for far too long. If I keep doing it I'm just gonna be weighing myself down unnecessarily.So, with the GEM class I'm being thrown into the unknown for the first time in a long time. Last time something like this happened to me was when I first became a leader in the band. But I'm prepared this time, and I won't make those same stupid mistakes anymore. No more culture shocks, no more frustrations from a past life.No more.