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Winston Zhang
28 March
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Friday, May 16, 2008
23:08:00
So I've been mostly on my back the last two days with a mysterious and inexplicable recurrance of mumps.
In case you didn't know, mumps is one of those sicknesses that should only occur once in a person's lifetime, like chickenpox for example. So imagine my surprise when I was awoken with pains in the sides of my head at 4am, Thursday morning. I woke up thinking, 'This can't be for real' but the mirror confirmed it; mumps. Again.
As such I've missed 2 days of school, so the long weekend has become an ultra-long one for me. Nevertheless it still feels like I didn't 'earn' it, if you know what I mean. I've spoken before about 'earning my keep' when it comes to work and holidays/weekends, and this time it's no different.
There was supposed to be a test today too, but I managed to work it out with the teacher and I'll be getting a 2nd opportunity at it next week, I think.
In my spare time I've mostly been sleeping off the effects of the medication (drowsiness, mostly) and just, as per normal, surfing the net. Blog-hopped cos I was seriously bored, and read things I... Well, I don't know how to describe what I feel about them.
Mainly I suppose it's the idea of the person blogging, the impression I get of the person from reading his/her posts. And then I compare that with what they showcase in real life, and I feel that many, many people are either betraying themselves, living second lives, or have multiple personalities, myself included.
Let's use me as a case study, eh? Now, for me it's not a case of betraying myself or living a second life. I just have 2 (that I can distinguish so far) distinct personalities: The one that you see in the flesh is a fierce-looking, but actually quite funny person. I do sometimes 'turn off' and go into my own world, but really it's for the best (I'll go into this at a later time, it's long enough to deserve a post of its own). In this particular persona I laugh at lame jokes, dumb jokes, and politically incorrect jokes.
Now the second persona, the one that appears on this blog. The serious, introspective, perhaps in some ways boring person. The one that looks at everything that happens around him (or at least those that he does notice) as well as within him and spells everything out in the hope that by doing so he'll have a better understanding of the world. The one that sometimes feels despair for this world we live in and the direction it is taking.
Now those two are almost polar opposites, right? Here's where it gets confusing; splice those two together and the result is the full product. How can two such very different personalities co-exist within the same body and not cause some spontaneous combustion of some kind? That, there, is the complexity of the average human being (or at least as far as I know). You see, the thing with me is that I can have both personas working together at the same time, cos they are able to mish-mash together.
Some other people's multiple personas are too different for them to combine without a volatile reaction and that's when we get people who talk one way in the flesh but then appear to be a completely different person on his/her blog. I feel that this kind of situation is pretty sad, but not in the 'Christ you guys are pathetic' sense. Rather, it's in the 'Ah well. Take your time' sense. I think I managed to find myself pretty quick, in terms of what defines me and what are the unique aspects of my character. Other people might take longer, some might even never do it. Who's to say?
Anyway, it is interesting, isn't it? This multiple personality thing almost all of us have.
I'll end off with this song which describes everything I've said to an absolute tee. Cheers guys.
Billy Joel - The Stranger
Well we all have a face That we hide away forever And we take them out and show ourselves When everyone has gone Some are satin some are steel Some are silk and some are leather They're the faces of the stranger But we love to try them on
Well we all fall in love But we disregard the danger Though we share so many secrets There are some we never tell Why were you so surprised That you never saw the stranger Did you ever let your lover see The stranger in yourself?
Don't be afraid to try again Everyone goes south Every now and then You've done it, why can't someone else? You should know by now You've been there yourself
Once I used to believe I was such a great romancer Then I came home to a woman That I could not recognise When I pressed her for a reason She refused to even answer It was then I felt the stranger Kick me right between the eyes
Well we all fall in love But we disregard the danger Though we share so many secrets There are some we never tell Why were you so surprised That you never saw the stranger Did you ever let your lover see The stranger in yourself?
Don't be afraid to try again Everyone goes south Every now and then You've done it, why can't someone else? You should know by now You've been there yourself You may never understand How the stranger is inspired But he isn't always evil And he isn't always wrong Though you drown in good intentions You will never quench the fire You'll give in to your desire When the stranger comes along