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Winston Zhang
28 March
NAPS
AMKSS
SP
Man Utd [Since '99]
Football
Video Games
Trumpet
ROCK
Music Junkie
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
01:02:00
Just watched a couple of episodes of The Sopranos on HBO.
Sometimes I just wish I were a mobster you know? It's a very childish sort of dream sort of thing, but still. I don't know, the code they live by is, in its own way, very honourable. But I don't know where this is coming from, honest.
I watch shows like this, like The Godfather, like Scarface (I know, different sort of show) and I try to incorporate little elements of those shows into my life. The better stuff of course, and definitely no illegal stuff. STILL, it's so childish, this whole thing about me, you gotta laugh.
So you see, I'm caught between this and that. Story of my life, really (by the way, I LOVE using that phrase). What to do when you have a half-here-half-there mind? So many times I end up doing nothing or taking too long to do things that I appear lazy or plain nonchalant. The truth is I over-think decisions most of the time. I wish I could be more spontaneous but that's really not up to me. My brain's hardwired this way, what can I do about it?
You know, I'd love to be a psychiatrist or a shrink, but then I'd be the lousiest one in the business cos I would be in it just to try to work out the different ways people think about a certain thing, or how they would go about a certain situation. I wouldn't be helping them, I'd just be reading case studies. It'd be EXACTLY like reading case studies, only that the situation is live.
Is it odd to find such things so interesting, so intriguing? Coming from a guy with the very typical male interests like football, comics, video games and such?
You see, right here, I AM a case study. Both deep and incredibly, incredibly shallow at the same time. What the hell?
Man, this post is all over the place. There is no direction coming from anywhere. This is how I would sound if you overheard me talking to myself. And yes, I do talk to myself. It's fun/good, everyone should try it every now and then.
I don't even know how I'm going to end this post, it's so abstract, so diverse. Too diverse.