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Winston Zhang
28 March
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Man Utd [Since '99]
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Saturday, February 23, 2008
02:16:00
...I'm feeling emotions right now that are just difficult to describe. And that's unusual, as I normally am able to express everything I need to.
A mixture of silent confidence in myself (which is the norm)... Insecurity as to my ideals... A slight frustration... Being satisfied and unsatisfied at the same time.... Melancholy... Hell of a mix.
Romantic feelings being suppressed, mitigated. For various reasons. As it is, after that... Last one... I've not been able to throw myself into something, someone. Cynicism, fear of being burnt again, perhaps a slight sense of bitterness (tied in with the cynicism)... All contributing factors.
That said, I'm not unhappy. I'm enjoying the sheer tranquility of my life at the moment. It won't last, of course, but at least, I've experienced it once in my life. Just human nature, I suppose, to keep demanding more. We'll never be satisfied, not for very long anyway. Boon and bane.
...I know this post is all over the place. There's no main theme, there's no direction, nothing. In that sense it's abstract in it's own way. As I type this paragraph I have a wry smile on my face. I am still an enigma, even to myself. A soft chuckle and a shake of the head. I'll never understand myself.
Sting - When We Dance
If he loved you Like I love you I would walk away in shame I'd move town I'd change my name
When he watches you When he counts to buy your soul On your hand his golden rings Like he owns a bird that sings
When we dance, angels will run and hide their wings
The priest has said my soul's salvation Is in the balance of the angels And underneath the wheels of passion I keep the faith in my fashion When we dance, angels will run and hide their wings
I'm still in love with you [I'm gonna find a place to live Give you all I've got to give] When we dance, angels will run and hide their wings When we dance, angels will run and hide their wings
If I could break down these walls And shout my name at heaven's gate I'd take these hands And I'd destroy the dark machineries of fate Cathedrals are broken Heaven's no longer above And hellfire's a promise away I'd still be saying I'm still in love
He won't love you Like I love you He won't care for you this way He'll mistreat you if you stay
Come and live with me We'll have children of our own I would love you more than life If you'll come and be my wife When we dance, angels will run and hide their wings When we dance, angels will run and hide their wings When we dance, angels will run and hide their wings When we dance, angels will run and hide their wings
I'm gonna love you more than life If you will only be my wife I'm gonna love you more than life If you will only be my wife I'm gonna love you night and day I'm gonna try in every way
(I had a dream last night I dreamt you were by my side Walking with me baby My heart was filled with pride I had a dream last night)