I wanna learn drums. for shit like this:



and this:




i wanna learn bass, for shit like this:




(the bald guy they show going nuts is actually playing that opening line on bass. not easy, far from it, to go that fast on bass. without pick.) and the drums ain't bad there either.

lastly, i wanna learn lead guitar, for shit like this:



but also for shit like this:




so many videos. maybe cos i'm not sure about what to say. i don't know, really. my 'poem' (i made it up on the spot) stands.


Anonyman.

Hello Mr. Denial, it's been a while
Mind if I come in? I've got a pile
I can? Why then,
You are a gentleman, my good man.


Winston.

going down with the flu sucks. on my heart, i swear that to be true.

Christ, to think i was feeling alright 24 hours ago. then it started hitting, the chills, sneezing, coughing (especially), etc etc.

worst thing is, i missed so much today. Chinese Paper 1, maths, and chem SPA. will be making up the SPA on monday, but i don't know about the other 2. screwed up. i hate make-up tests. messes with schedules.

while lying in bed today, managed to do some thinking, as i almost always do when i'm alone and in a quiet situation, whether voluntary or (as in this case) involuntary. turning thoughts of various things in my head, came to a (slightly) depressing conclusion... or is it? somehow i'm not too sad about it, more of a '*sigh' kind of feeling... not sure how to describe it.

as i said before, i'm WAY out of place, where i am. after thinking through things, i've added 'when' to that equation. think about it: my musical tastes are almost all old stuff (and most definitely not chinese), and i'm frustrated (sometimes, mostly just perplexed) by most of the people around me, how their minds work, and so on. it sounds totally dickwad of me, but i have a maturity that many around me just don't have at the moment. i absolutely HATE to say this, but that's how i feel.

it's quite disturbing, sometimes. sure as heck narrows down the number of people i can talk to. and by 'talk to', i don't mean mindless chatting. i'm talking about proper, intelligent conversations. about life. and being able to take a 'detached' view of it (dunno how to describe). also, only these few people will have actual solutions or can at least help me feel better.

i'm weird in my own way. sure, i appear the (rather) boisterous type when i'm with my pals, and we're just joking about one stupid thing or other, but there's also a deep side to me. a REALLY deep side. so, i'm shallow(-ish) yet deep as hell, at the same time. shite, forget other people trying to understand me, i can't even understand myself fully.

i think i feel like an adult trapped in a teenager's body, and forced to experience teenage life as a result. that's as best as i can describe. for example, hearing Mrs Lai talk about people becoming cynical as they grow older just had me nodding my head. i ALREADY AM a cynic. another example; my thoughts. if my mind were a book, someone would be stuck reading it for countless years. they range from anything from laughing at low-brow humour to going through things so much i appear to want to shut everyone out (zi-bi, as so many people call it). my mind, it is a mystery.

thinking of that, the 'Anonyman' sure is one appropriate nickname. it sounds cool (something i'm quite heavy on, heh), it's funny, in a make-you-think-about-it-before-you-get-it way (which i think is just loving awesome), and yet, also totally describes my basic nature, someone not many people know, yet i leave an impression of sorts ('Anony' = not many people know, adding the 'man' at the back sticks in your mind, as that's not how it's supposed to be spelt). difficult to explain, but if you can get it, it'll probably crack a smile onto your lips, partially an 'oh, i see' smile and partially a 'nice one there' smile.

i'm rambling. i am, aren't i? but... yeah. the thoughts i have, cannot possibly be expressed properly in words. i don't really like that fact, but yeah, there you go.

at the moment i'm feeling... philosophical? something like that. put simply, to anyone passing by it might look like i'm troubled, or sad, or something like that. but my mind is working fine, it's just being perplexed by the enigma that is me.

don't get me wrong, i'm not feeling down, just... mellow.

i think i need another pool-side experience with the same 2. need, not just want. i just hate that i have to keep depending on these 2, especially as one's totally hitting the shits (life's not treating him well) and the other's busy as hell. well, see what i can work out.



Anonyman.


ps. in an attempt to curb my swearing, i'll adopt somethingawful.com's forum language, which replaces the F-bomb with words like 'loving' and 'gently caress'. the connection might not come immediately, but it'll come. lol.

ok, here i am again.

well, it's all out. i'm glad it is, only just realised how torturous it actually was to keep it all inside.

so it's all out, to the right person. oddly enough, even with the few close confidants i had, i never told anyone of them the exact same things i told the person herself. one of the few cases where i say more in the actual situation than in chats with other people, my friends.

hope things really stay the way they are. as in, we remain close as ever. i really wouldn't want any shutting off of any kind, just cos of this. but you gotta stop hurting yourself, m'lady. you know what i mean.

anyway, i'm feeling soooo much better now that i've gotten that monkey off my back. i'm back to my cheery self again, heh. now i gotta study my maths. totally screwed my pre-test. on the other hand, i managed to pass a chem test i thought i had screwed, so... mixed feelings on that. result's not too good, but at least i didn't fail it, that's the general feeling. I WANT MY PHYSICS TEST BACK. heard i did well, just wanna know how well, cos i've NEVER done well in my physics, lol.

tomorrow's Chinese Common Test Paper 2. whatever, just bring it. can't study anyway.

well, basically that's it for now. just enjoying the sweet sensation of freedom of mind again. enjoy this song, funky stuff, lol. i know the look of it's kinda old, but that's just cos it is, lol. 80's stuff. this is the funk side of my song library. i'm diverse as heck in my listening.





oh, it's pretty soft, so turn up the volume if you find the need to.



Anonyman!


ps. in case you find the back beat of the song familiar, it's only cos MC Hammer sampled it for his hit, Can't Touch This. this here, is where that beat originally came from.

alright, i'm back.

not just back to post, but also having got back my sanity, in regards to recent happenings. i went off the deep end for a little while there, but i'm fine now, and regained my sense of rational thought.

i think it's gonna keep bugging me for some time yet, but at least that's all there is to it, bugging. no more major blow-ups though. i almost self-destructed, thank god i punched in the abort code in time.

my brain works in weird ways. usually it's very calm, collected, and unbelievably rational. then something like this comes along and boom, the crazy and stupid version of it rears its ugly head. then in another 1-3, sometimes 4, days, it gets back to normal. it's really dumb, my brain.

back to normal times. i'm glad for it. well, got a couple of things coming up, math test (a confirm fail unless i manage to pull a minor miracle within the next 2 days), chem SPA (hope i do okay, but hell, gotta memorize the whole list), and Chinese Common Test Paper 1 and 2 [can't do much studying anyway, so, (shrugs)]. at least next tuesday is Labour Day. isn't it weird that a day called Labour Day is a day of rest? well, i'm not complaining, lol.

suddenly really looking forward to the June holidays? i dunno, i just am, although that just means we're another step closer to the end of it all, O levels. man, it's scary just thinking of it, especially when i think of my A maths. oh well, i'll solve it, somehow. i always solve my own problems (albeit with help sometimes, and to all who have helped, a sincere thanks), and this won't be an exception.

i've re-awoken. scarred, but nevertheless battle ready. bring it.




Queen - Crazy Little Thing Called Love

haha, for sure it is.



Anonyman!


EDIT: Had to change the video, the previous one was slightly cut in the beginning. figures, the very first time i don't 'proof-read' a video, it's a bad one, heh.

crash and burn, baby.

my car's totalled. totally totalled.

i don't usually go into this sort of thing, but it happens from time to time. this is one of those times.

gonna be some while till i get back.

byebye. gonna have to hitch-hike my way back.

i'm not making much, if any, sense, am i? doesn't really matter at the moment.

fuck it man. fuck it all.



Winston.






It's A Hard Life - Queen

think of the lyrics. they mean something to me, more so at this point of time.

well, till next time then. cheers mates.




Anonyman.

come to the conclusion that there's no two ways around this particular conundrum =/

it's all or bust, in a way. but will live my life as per normal while simultaneously tackling the problem on the side. that's the only way to live anyway. no point getting too bogged down by it.

well, at least i've found another outlet or 2 when i need help. very useful when some are incapacitated due to various reasons. cheers, to you guys. thanks loads.

well, nowadays... due to this... problem... i'm not 100% cheery, but i get by well enough. had 2 tests, not sure how i did on my Bio, but heard that i did fairly well on my Physics test, which is wonderful, as i only did some REALLY last-minute studying, heh. i gotta stop cutting things so close!

oh, also had chinese listening compre. easy as hell, i got full marks. funnily, the last passage they read out, i had already done it before, as a comprehension (writing type) passage. how lucky, lol.

ah, my life's bland. maybe it's just cos of that thing, that's bringing my general happiness level down, but it's an on/off thing, thankfully. tomorrow's the celebratory dinner, am really looking forward to that. the food'll probably be awesome, heh. maybe i'll skip lunch tomorrow to make more room for dinner, lol. ah that's just crap. lol.

Always - Bon Jovi

This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

And I will love you, baby - always
And I'll be there forever and a day - always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time

Yeah, I will love you baby - always
And I'll be there forever and a day - always

If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines

And I will love you, baby - always
And I'll be there forever and a day - always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - always


beautiful, innit. ah well, the Anonyman lives on, taking on any problems in his stride. cheerio mates.



Anonyman.

no, i don't want this, not again.

can't help myself though. goddamn human emotions.

what can i do? nothing. that makes it worse.

could do without this, but no choice, i suppose.

shite.



Winston.

i need more than two outlets. i need more alternatives.

i can't always rely on the same two people. they have their own worries too.

but i can't find no one man. fuck.



Anonyman.

the feeling is of a dazed person, staggering around the place.

that's how i feel at the moment, even 7 hours after the event of my life.

if you're a band member, you'll know what i'm talking about, but for the benefit of those who aren't, Ang Mo Kio Secondary School Band has achieved the top award of Gold with Honours in today's SYF Central Judging of Concert Bands, making us only the 2nd band to do so, after the powerhouse that is St. Patrick's.

it's such a big achievement, it's almost unbelievable, honestly. which explains why, unlike other band members' blog entries (which are filled with superlatives and exclamation marks), this entry of mine is typed so 'calmly'. i'm still in (partial) shock.

the best thing, i think, is that we didn't do anything particularly out of the ordinary on stage. we played as we normally do in practices (at least in the past 2 or 3 practices), which shows that we've got what it takes on a normal basis.

so, for me, the whole process was something like 'wait for our turn, go on stage, play as per normal, get off stage, wait for results'. it all went in a blur, in a way. before i knew it, 6 months of hard-ass work had just passed, and i was having a sausage mcmuffin as a late breakfast.

we went in to watch the 2nd half of the morning segment of today's judging. EVERY other band played Sunrise. shiiiite. play Sunrise till the sunset, lol. i was tired, and nodded off quite abit. disrespectful, i guess, but i really couldn't help myself.

then, results time. i sat with Eugene on my left and James on my right. i was tense as hell. the announcer made the tension worse by doing the obligatory long thanking speech for the sponsors and whatnot. just as well we were the 3rd band to play, or i'd have died from the suspense, lol. we were band No. 79, so here's how it went:

'Band 77, Ahmad Ibrahim Secondary... Silver!' cheers followed. i was as tense as ever.

'Band 78, (insert school name here, i forgot who it was, so sorry)... Silver!' i got tenser. would the judges' high standards come to bite us in the ass?

'Band 79, Ang Mo Kio Secondary School... Gold, (a goddamnit short yet tense as hell pause here) with Honours!'

i let loose. screamed myself hoarse before collapsing in my seat, tears of joy uncontrollably coming out. High-fived James, hugged Eugene. Shaking in my seat from pure, unadulterated joy. 'I've done it. I haven't let my seniors down.' kept repeating over and over in my head. that was my main motivation, anyway. to not let my wonderful seniors down. and i had done it. our band were celebrating like idiots, which was quite disrespectful to the other bands, i suppose [we were the only Gold (not even counting Honours) band this morning], but the emotion was simply uncontrollable, honestly.

we went out of the hall to get our instruments. everybody was still going nuts. as i walked towards the instruments, Rui Shan and Yan Ling came towards me, both speechless, with red eyes, and gave me hugs. with all this pandemonium going on all around me, i continued my path to the instruments (crowded, y'see), and had another with Clair. made our way down to the waiting area, where i looked up into the sky, and thought the thought, 'Thanks. Thanks, so much.' i know i'm not Christian, but it just seemed right to do such a thing.

the SMSes started coming in. cheers, all! thanks again.

i'd like to thank all the teachers for their support of the band, all the behind-the-scenes work. it's very often this unnoticed work that is the most important, and they've done all they can, whenever they can, to make things happen, so, thank you very much, teachers.

and. i think i'll leave a whole paragraph for this. Mr Brando Tan, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I know, i haven't been the best member you could possibly have, and i'm no fantastic trumpet player either, but in all honesty, my waking-up in regards to how the band works and what makes band such a magical activity, was mostly thanks to you. i've been under you for 3 1/2 years, and i've seen the regime change quite dramatically. comparing this year with 2005, the preparation process is significantly different. i think it was down to your ability to adapt so quickly to the new environment, that got the best out of us this year. Thanks, really, for everything. this may sound cheesy, but hell man, you changed my life. it's been a pleasure working under you, it really has been. I'll be sad to leave your guidance as a band instructor. My heartfelt thanks, once again.

Juniors, it's time to step up. I hope i've prepared you guys enough to be able to make the step up without too much hassle. take good care of your Sec 1s, they'll be the ones taking part in SYF 2009. make it so that they will be able to experience what you guys have today. as always, any troubles, i'm always available, be it via phone or msn or whatever. Cheers. you guys deserve what you got. remember that. you only get what you deserve, so keep striving for excellence, and you'll get excellent results in whatever you do.




'Band 79, Ang Mo Kio Secondary School... Gold with Honours!'

the words will ring forever more, in my mind.





Winston.

I like anti-heroes. And it would be interesting to be one.

I may already be one. Ah-hah.


Winston.

ok, i'm back.

you know, i just realised something. in the short space of 3 days, i'll be done with SYF. at the same time, i have to face 4 tests. like, what the goddamn fuck la. of all weeks to pile on the tests, they had to choose this week. and not only are they falling in this week, they are falling in the 2 days prior to the SYF day. how fantastically pleasant!

english, can't study, and i think i'll do okay anyway. the only problem with that one is that we only found out we have such a test just today, and it's tomorrow. piece of shit. then, SS, which i have to study for, but honestly, too tired to do so today. will chiong tomorrow. and the last test tomorrow will be Chem, Redox and Electrolysis. for this test, i'm pretty much fried. i'm hopeless in Redox, and only so-so in electrolysis, so the overall result will be a fail, i suppose. too tired and focused on SYF to really give much of a fuck anyway, honestly.

last test will be E maths, Probability, on Wed. that one, although i'm no great shakes, but i think i'll do okay.

of all weeks la, seriously. goddamn it la.

i'm so tired, i need a break. gonna use up the last of my energy for SYF before going into 'mental hibernation' for a little bit. too damn shacked.



Winston.

Last Kiss - Pearl Jam
[Chorus]
Oh where oh where can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world

We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far
There in the road straight up ahead
A car was stalled the engine was dead
I couldn't stop so I swerved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screaming tires the busting glass
The painful scream that I heard last

[Chorus]

When I woke up the rain was pouring down
There were people standing all around
Something warm flowing through my eyes
But somehow I found my baby that night
I lifted her head she looked at me and said
Hold me darling just a little while
I held her close I kissed her our last kiss
I found the love that I knew i have missed
Well now she's gone even though I hold her tight
I lost my love my life that night

[Chorus]

Woh (x4)

Ohh (x4)


i love this song. maybe it's just nostalgia doing its thing, as it was 'ingrained' into me when i was younger. you know, despite the sad lyrics, because of the way it was played (sounds relatively cheerful), when i was younger i thought it was a happy song, lol. when i realised the opposite was true, the song took on a whole new meaning for me.

so. yesterday. well, went out with my family, had a kickass brunch, before heading home to chill. went out with Eugene and Tommy in the evening. walked around J8 first, before heading to Dome. we just talked abit, nothing too much, but nevertheless, it's always nice to spend time with these 2 guys. balance and equilibrium achieved when i'm with them.

well. 5 days. honestly, i'm in no mood to study, and it doesn't help that i've got 3 tests (4 if you include physics SPA) before thursday. maths, i'll be ok, probability isn't too difficult. SS, i'll be fine, just gotta study. it's chem i'm worried about. oh well. i'll work it out somehow.

band's up later. intensity is rising. but, heh, i'll match it.



Anonyman

well, this is the first post i'm not using red, by request of mabel, lol. well, mabs, let me know how this works out for you, and if need to change, let me know.

well, today had brass sectionals, with, uh, i think sebastian was his name. he's the trombone tutor. he's not bad, but being unfamiliar with the piece... i think the sectionals were less productive than it could have been. also, today i was on form :DD lol. i'm quite happy with how i performed. and i know the section can do it. you guys just gotta put in 100% every single time from now till the end. and if you don't, you're just digging your own graves, frankly. perform up to standard everytime, and there'll be no worries, i gurantee.

i went home after having dinner at Nonya's Wok, during which i had a good laugh with Iris, Hazmei and Marc Leong. i received a call from Tommy in NW, and decided yeah, i'd meet up with him. sadly, Eugene couldn't make it at the last minute. take care man, really.

met him at J8 after he finished some personal stuff, heh. we went to Delifrance. he had some croissant of some sort, a meal, in general. i had already eaten, so all i had was this dessert thing, ice cream in pastry, i have no idea how else to describe it, so sorry. lol. he paid for me too, as a belated birthday gift, lol. well, the food wasn't the main attraction, rather, it was the opportunity to talk with him again. miss those old times more than ever man. even now, when i've had ample time to look for a replacement, so-called, no one matches up to what Tommy can do. cheers mate, you helped me alot.

well, one more week. here i come.



Anonyman

just a short simple post here.

CONGRATS TO RUI SHAN AND CARIN FOR WINNING THE ARC GRAND PRIZE! i'll be honest, the first thought that came into my mind after they announced you guys as the champs was 'FINALLY AMK win something instead of finishing in 3rd or 4th' lol.

well done, very well done. you guys were good to the extent where it was quite plain to see who would win, really. same goes for the category B people. it was obvious that these 2 groups were going to win, no offence to the others.

well, i guess that's it for this post. lol. well done again guys, you've done the school and also the band proud. lol.



Anonyman, the proud senior =)

well, here i am!

just woke up to the news that Kalou gave Chelsea a 1-0 win in the 92nd minute. !#%Y # %$ man. never mind, 5 more wins, and we're there. i was abit worried when Derbyshire scored for Blackburn, but once Scholes scored, i somehow had the feeling that we would win after all. i didn't expect 4-1, i was thinking something more along the lines of 2-1, 3-1, but i'll take whatever result, so long as it's a win, heh.

well, yesterday. nothing too much happened. went to band prac in the afternoon, nothing of serious note happened. after band prac, i went with the guys to McDonalds. after a little while Eugene and Brandon left to hand out flyers for their old tuition teacher, a job of sorts. anyway, only Shi Zheng, Shao Jie and Hazmei were left in the place. i've had quite a few talks about the band with other people, like Eugene and James and Benjamin, but this is the first time i've ever had such an in depth talk, almost an 'analysis', with these guys about the band. it was really interesting stuff, it was.

that was it for my day.

oh. BT was listing the number of practices left till SYF, and i was suddenly hit with the speed of it all. not so much about SYF being close, i knew that and have been subconciously mentally prepared for some while already, but rather about the fact that in just 4 more full band practices, and 1 SYF performance, my official tour of duty as a band member is finished. i can't believe it. seems only yesterday i stepped into the band. with a blink of an eye, i've already known people like James, Benjamin and Clarissa and so on and so forth for 3 1/2 years. i. cannot. believe. it. honestly.

of course, i'll come back for things like Balloon Hat Fest and POP, definitely, but this is really 'whoa.' to me. still remember everything man. first band prac. sectionals with Glenn. JBF. the band camp which changed my life. my first juniors (the current sec3s). SYF 2005. going into the doldrums over band. Thailand. becoming extremely dedicated to the band. March concert with Wat Suthi. first instance of my extreme (at times) un-sociability. taking over as BMA. struggling like a dog. almost going into depression. finally relinquishing the role to concentrate on my section. various troubles with the section. realizing what kind of person i actually am. 'reformatting my system', changing the way i did things so as to get maximum yield from minimum change of my character. bringing my section up. preparing for March 4th 2007 concert. and we come to preparing for SYF 2007.

that's basically a brief overview of my band life. all the events which affected me as a person, all the influential events. band has changed me. for the better? i think so. i'm very much different from alot of people. alot of people don't see people like me alot, hence they don't understand, and what you don't understand, you tend to reject. i think i've said this before. goddamn idiots. be compromising. i accept all views, even if i may disagree with some. 'To Each His Own' is a good phrase to apply to handling people. never ever expect anyone to be how you want him/her to be. Never.

i've said before. My Style Will Bear Fruit. and i don't ever fucking intend to back down on that statement. now if only people could be more compromising. HAH. not gonna happen, man. but i'll take things as they come, accept people for who they are, at the expense of myself. seriously though, fuck the idiots who don't understand me yet turn hostile just cos i'm different.

anyhoo. 4 more practices. my god. can't believe it.




Anonyman.

Abygail

Shi Kai

Tommy

Trumpets [Da Section]

Mabel

Samuel

Alter Ego

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